Anglais

Question

Salut tout le monde, je doit faire un exposé pour demain en anglais, et je voulais savoir si mon texte est bien:
Hi everybody today I'm going to talk about something that really touched me. Indeed more or less four months ago. I heard about a tragic even. I heard about the terrorist attack of Charlie hebdo. On Wednesday, January 7th at about 2:30 pm, two men army and dressed in black, open the fire in the office of Charlie Hebdo in Paris. They kill 12 people and hurt 11 among which 4 seriously. It is the worst attack in France for more than half a century. They run away then by car towards the northeast of Paris to hide it in a printing office. Some day later the police repérassent and shot them! It was about two brothers " Chérif and Said Kouachi " the reactions multiply in the world. The slogan " I am charlie " spreads on the social networks and in streets. For the cause more than 100 000 people demonstrated. Quite he has cause of Mohammed's caricatures. Now what's your mind to it? Have you been touched like me? C'est bien ce que j'ai fait ou j'ai des fautes?

2 Réponse

  • J'ai lus ton texte sur Charlie Hebdo, et il est bien, il ni a pas l'air d'avoir de faute, je ne sais pas si c'est noter ou si tu la déjà rendu... Mais avec sa tu aura plus de la moyenne ! salut
  • Salut! Ton texte est bien, mais il faut l'écrire au prétérit.
    "two armed men"
    "they killed 12 people"
    "opened the fire"
    "and hurt among 11, including 4 seriously." (je ne suis pas sûre pour ceci)
    "they ran away"
    "a few days later the police found them" (si c'est ce que tu veux dire)
    "they were 2 brothers"
    tu devrais mettre un point entre "Chérif and Said Kouachi" et "the reactions multiplied" (je ne sais si cela se dit au fait, peut-être que oui, mais j'aurai dit "there were many reactions." ou "a lot of people reacted to this event."
    "spread on the social networks"

    Voilà! Je suis désolée si je n'ai pas pu repérer toutes les erreurs, mais ton texte est vraiment bien!! :)

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